30 isn't so bad!

     As cliche as this is going to sound, your 20's is really about finding out who you are...trying different things, exploring who you are, finding out what you do and don't like and really figuring out your faith.  I turned 30 last year and finally feel like I am settling into adulthood and am comfortable with being who I am...a strong Christian women, wife, runner, dance instructor and a devoted mom!  I love who I am, who I have become and who God has shaped me to be.  I don't think I would be ready for this point in my life "the waiting room of life" without the last 10 years of exploration.

     I got saved about 2 months before Craig and I started dating...so in the last 11, almost 12 years that I have been a Christian, God has put several different women in my life, to help shape and mold me into who he wants me to be.  As sad as I am that I don't stay in touch with some of those women anymore, God used them to change me and make me into who I am!  Of course, I know God isn't done teaching me nearly what he wants to, is he ever?  

     I got asked a very interesting question a couple of weeks ago by one of those women:  What are my passions?  Besides, running, dance, being a mom, and a wife...what are the things that really get me excited.   I have spent some time really thinking about it and exploring what makes my heart happy.  I have come to two conclusions: reading and writing.  I have always loved to read...I have a collection of books and just love what it can do for the imagination!  Going somewhere, exploring different ideas, and living in someone else's shoes, just excites me!  And writing...just the thought of writing, getting my thoughts down on paper so I can see it and share it with others, again, just excites me.  

  I don't know what that is going to look like or how God is going to guide that, but I am excited to see!  I come from writers...my great grandpa was a writer and had one of his books published, and my mom used to write.  Right after I got saved I was prophesied over that I would write.  Now it's time to explore my writing and how that is going to happen...:)

Encouragement for a Monday!

So as I am making my way through the Old Testament I came upon some verses in Psalms that I thought were very uplifting for this Monday morning.  Hope you enjoy and they uplift and encourage you today:

Psalm 73:21-26
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. 
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. 
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. 
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 86:11-13
Teach me your way, O LOrd, and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. 
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your anme forever. 
For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

Have a great week:)

Pinterest...need I say more!

     I really try to limit my time on the computer...really, I do!  But when it comes to pinterest I could spend hours!  I have to watch the time and limit myself when I am on there.  Besides the DIY stuff, holiday decor ideas, recipes, clothes...okay I could go on!  I love the quotes that I find, the sarcastic ones, the funny ones, and of course, the quotes from the bible.  The one I found yesterday rang true for me and so I wanted to make sure to share it: 
     "Because when everything else is chaotic and out of my control, my RUN is mine!"  I think it is important that we all have at least one thing in life that we can do when we are stressed or we need a "therapy" session.  For me that is either dancing and these days running.  When I was younger and was dancing 2-3 times a week, dance was my therapy.  If I was frustrated, mad or sad I would start class not knowing what to do, about the problem or situation, by the time class was finished I would have an answer.  For the last 5 years my therapy has been running, I know crazy! 
     In the last 5 years things at times have been very chaotic and out of control(to me, I know, not to God) but when I go for a run, for however long I am going for...life for me falls into place and it is peaceful.  I get to control how long I am gone, how long I go for, and how fast!  Not to mention, the time I am gone, I can talk to him and pray and listen to worship music that helps me to focus on what he would want me to do.
     I think that is the hard thing for Christians, yes, we gave our lives to Christ, but then to actually be out of control is hard!  Therefore, I believe God gave each one of us one or several things we can do to help us stay focused on him and his promises.  Sometimes, I think he even gives us things, like pinterest, just to make us happy!  If we find our, peace in the midst of chaos, it makes it that much easier to let go of the bigger things...the things HE NEEDS to control:)
    

Challenge Friday!

     As I make my second journey through the bible cover to cover, I realize how important it is to do it!  It is very important to know the morals and values which most christians base their life. 
     I am choosing to do this in three months...because I know me and if it takes longer than that, I will lose patience and attention span!  However, there is no designated time in which you need to read his book.  You can choose to do in 3, 6 or even 12 months.  My feelings are that God doesn't care how long it takes us or what we choose to read, as long as we engage ourself in his word and his promises.
     His word and promises are what is going to get us through those rough trials and rough days when we think we can't make it.  By reading and meditating on his word we will instantly be able to refer to that and we will be able to keep our eyes looking forward:)

Challenge: To pick a part of the bible and just start reading...Good Luck!

My new favorite...

I think every new fork in the road that God walks us through he gives us either a verse, song, quote or someone that is going to be our strength through that rough time!  It has been true for me in the last 11 years since I have been saved!  Usually it's a verse...however, this time it's a song and it's by Sanctus Real!  The title is Whatever You're Doing...
For this whole entire year our life has been a whirlwind...
1. we listed our house on the market in January
2. bought a new jeep in April
3. became licensed foster parents
4. had 4 foster children in one month(2 at a time, stayed for a week each)
5. got a full time foster child
6. have had tons of showings and open houses
7. found Silena's dairy allergy
8. medicine quite working for craig and I
....and I forgot to mention became youth directors!

This whole entire year has been nothing but a waiting game and a very uncertain waiting game!  But like the song says as much as I feel my world has been turned upside down I know God is doing something bigger than me, something heavenly.  I also know that he has a plan and all the things listed above will be worked out in his time...as much as my daily life is chaos right now...there is also peace! 
Some of you have asked how we are going to deal with the fact that our foster child may be reunified with his parents, my theory is, that is what he deserves!  Will it be hard...absolutely!  My family and I have fallen in love with this child and we feel he has become a part of our life.  If this happens God will be right there and he will offer us the grace and mercy to grieve the loss of this child.  I have definitely had my share of bad days the last couple of weeks, but I keep feeling God telling me this....We need to feel honored that he picked us, out of all the foster parents in portage county, to be a part of his story!
As we all go through different "forks in the road" God gives us whatever he feels will help us the most and the best way that he can let us know he is here guiding us through these situations:)

P.S. Please pray that the best decision is made in the case of our foster child

Food for Thought

     Did you know that the word Trust or a form of the word is mentioned over 100 times in the bible?  And out of all the books in the bible...it's mentioned the most in Psalm.  I thought that was very interesting!  It is said that the more one word is mentioned in the bible the more important it is...That makes you think doesn't it?
     The definition of trust is: firm belief in the honesty and reliability of another.  It had me thinking this morning during my very beautiful fall run, why is it so hard for humans to trust another?  For a majority of us our needs are meant from the time we are born.  We are fed, changed, held and loved by several people and anytime we cryed we were reassured that everything would be okay.  But where does that trust break down for those of us that grew up with a stable household?  Were we tramutized as a young adult, got a broken heart, had great loss or really let down by the people that supposedly loved us?  We trust those that we see and when that is broken we automatically put up walls and don't let anybody else near until we fully believe they are capable of handling all of us.  Why is it so hard to trust someone we can't see?
     Here's a thought: Shouldn't God be the one NOT to trust us?  We as humans screw up on a daily basis...and some of us royally!  We have made mistakes from the beginning of time and yet, he still loves and still wants us as his children.  He knows that it is hard to trust someone you can't see but that is why he forgives us everytime we cry out in frustration.  He understands that sometimes we need just to vent to him and he knows we don't mean it.  I think it is amazing that he sent his son for us when we really don't deserve his trust. 
     As hard as it is we NEED to trust him and believe in each situation he is going to work all things for our good!  Whether it's the answer we want or not it's what's best.  So even though it's a hard concept at times...think about it....he trusts us when we don't deserve it, shouldn't we be able to trust him?

A phrase I dislike!

     A post once every three months...wow, I am on a roll!  I have been so busy over the last couple of months, although writing has been on the back of my mind for that long.  I love writing...it allows me to vent without caring what anybody else thinks.  I hear this phrase a lot(not so much anymore) but I heard it the other day and it just got under my skin: Welcome to parenthood!
     Seriously, I have been a mom for 5 years...I am NOT a new mom!  To me this phrase almost makes the person sound better because they have experienced it before you did...so what!  Who cares when we experience different parent only things.  For example, I have been a mom for 5 years and I finally got a mom brain last weekend and completely got times wrong for a friends birthday party.  I was completely shocked, I am naturely a very organized person so I hadn't experienced that yet...but when I got to the party I was told "Welcome to parenthood"  like I was a new mom!
     If you think about it...everybody is a new parent several times in their life!  When your oldest starts walking, starts talking, goes to school, becomes a teenager, graduates and moves out!  All those experiences with your oldest child makes you a new parent.  After that with your other children your not a new mom anymore!  I don't think we should tell anybody that...even if they are brand new parents....they now they are inexperienced they don't need reminding.  We should be supporting each other and say "I just did that," or "you know what helped me, when I did that."  And when parents have child number 2 they are NO longer new parents. 
     It doesn't matter how adults become parents, if they have the desire in their hearts then God will help them become parents.  Just because some parents and children are not blood related that doesn't take away the different phases of being a parent.  Those of you who have never adopted...those children's birth certificates are changed the day the adoption is finalized!
     No one wants to hear "Welcome to Parenthood," people know the day they get pregnant or adopt a child their world has just changed...they don't need us parents shoving in their faces that their experiencing all these things.  I knew the day Silena was placed with us that my world had just been changed.  I loved having all those mom experiences...in fact I still cherish them...it reminds of the blessings God has given me:)