God's Plan Not Ours

     I have had many dreams in my lifetime which have been accomplished: going to college, being in the Nutcracker, getting married, having my own house, becoming a teacher and adoption.  However, there is one dream that has yet to be accomplished...can anyone guess?????
     From the time I was little I have wanted to have my own biological children.  The process of pregnancy, labor and babies have fascinated me since I can remember.  I know those of you that have had children, given birth and been pregnant are probably thinking: it's really no big deal, you don't want it, and you have such a gorgeous body why would you want to ruin that!  Well, after you have waited 7 years then you will understand why I want it so bad.    The only thing I remember the day I got married besides the fact that I got to live with Craig for the rest of my life was this, now I can have babies whenever I want!
     Craig and I waited about 8 months after we were married to start trying.  We tried for about a year and a half and realized that being a young healthy couple there is no way it should have taken us this long.  Well, after many doctor appointments the results were in...Craig had no sperm.  What a shock for us.  After sitting with that news for a couple weeks we looked into adoption and foster care.  Foster care won out because of the costs of adoption...that's how we ended up with Silena:)
     Around 5 months ago we met this natural hormone replacement doctor who heard our story and said he could help us by just boosting Craig's hormones.  Can you imagine the excitement we felt as we told our friends and family?  Now imagine the feeling of telling everybody...and many people thinking we were crazy for thinking it would work...and then not being pregnant yet! 
     This is a very hard place to be in!  While every other women in my church is pregnant or have had a baby...it is a very lonely place.  I know no one has meant to do it or say things but there have been points where I have gotten dirty looks, felt left out, and actually heard that some women have felt they couldn't relate to me because I have never had a newborn.  Seriously?  As a church body aren't we supposed to support each other and not leave people out because their christian walk isn't exactly like ours?

Lesson:  I think that people forget as christians that we are here to follow God's plan!  I have not been on birth control in 6 years...this was NOT our plan.  As a follower of Christ it is our job to lean not on our own understanding, and to know that God will make this happen because he does it for other people...why wouldn't he do it for me?

Jer. 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.